Anonymous asked: I have a question. I am 21 just like you and in love with a wonderful man. We are both Christians but are having a difficult time being pure. Would you suggest just going ahead and having sex, using it as means to become more intimate and strong as a couple, rather than become caught in an unhealthy pattern of sexual temptation and mistakes, with no relational benefits? I've always been raised to believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong, but I am am no longer sure of where I stand.
All I can do is answer the questions about my beliefs on sex. Never ever will I tell anyone what they should do in their relationship because that, my dear, is an entirely personal decision and I would hate to steer you in a direction you regret. I do, however, wish you the best of luck. God bless.
Anonymous asked: I wish I was even half as beautiful as you are.
Everyone is beautiful. Every single soul.
prisonertoinstincts asked: Just wanted to stop by and let you know how amazing you are. Your kind, thoughtful words and passionate nature really inspire me to be a better person. Every time I look at your blog, I am uplifted.
Have a fantastic day!
Oh, thank you!
Anonymous asked: I'm 19 years old, live at home with my parents and I have a boyfriend. We've been together for 20 months and I've known him for 2 & a half years. My family has met him obviously.. What I need advice on is getting my mum to let me sleep over at his house without having to lie about it.
I don't know what to say and have tried explaining that I'm 19, not stupid, am responsible about what I'm doing, etc. She knows I've had sex because she found my birth control pills, so she knows that I'm being safe about it. (we're not really close so if it wasn't for her finding my pills she still wouldn't know) Also, when I'm at an event with his family and my boyfriends been drinking so he cant drive me home, she will let me sleep over at his older sisters house, with him. (mainly so I don't have to catch a taxi home alone but still..) and at the start of the year she let me go away with him (a 2 hour drive from home) for 3 nights.. just the two of us. She's let me do all that but she doesn't let me sleep over at his house even though he lives with his mum?! She lets me go to his house and stay as late as 4am and she wont say a word about it so it doesn't make any sense to me and I don't know what to say to her! She always just says "when you get your own house you can do what you want but while you live under my roof you follow my rules blah blah blah" do you have any other ideas of how I could approach this?
thankyou! :)
Hm, what a strange situation. I would just ask her, respectfully, what exactly it is about you sleeping at his home that she objects to that is not a concern in those other situations. Start there, and if nothing changes, let me know. Best of luck!
Anonymous asked: Really could use help right now. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year, we are long distance, and completely in love and dedicated to seeing each other as much as possible. I'll be going to college next year where I live while he'll be going to college where he lives. I'm going to be in a coed dorm and it's driving him crazy (all the dorms are coed). I've done everything I could think of to reassure him I'd never let anything bad happen and he knows how completely in love I am with him and we've always been good about talking it out when we start worrying about things. Recently he told me he doesn't want me to talk to any guys at all or make any guy friends and when I go out make sure it's just girls, and doesn't want me to go out often. I kind of found this hard to follow since I would trust him going out with his friends even if there may be a girl or two in that group (because obviously he wouldn't be hitting on them or anything) and I'd want him to go out with his friends and have fun. And I've never given him any reason to not trust me, we've been so faithful to eachother. And when I ask if he trusts me he says he does, and that he's trusting me enough to date me while I go to college here especially in a coed dorm. I tried telling him that I think trust is when you aren't controlling your significant other, you are letting them do whatever they want freely and trusting that they know what is right and wrong and for them to do what is right. He apologized but said he really doesn't want me to talk to any guys and to just say hi, but walk away, and that it's killing him inside worrying about this and told me that he is clingy. I don't even have guy friends to begin with right now, and I don't plan on aiming for any in the future, but I'm afraid my boyfriend might blow something out of proportion. I don't know, I'm so in love with him and the distance enough is just hard. Blah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don’t care if a man is your father, your pastor, your husband, the father or your children, your brother, or your significant other—if he is not your corrections officer, he cannot tell you with whom to speak, make friends, and spend your time. You are an independent, intelligent, incredible woman, and you have to realize that limiting yourself to HALF OF THE POPULATION as far as interactions with civilization go would be the equivalent to cutting your social, emotional, spiritual, and intellectual growth off at the knees. If he loves you, he will trust you enough to BE YOURSELF around whomever you choose. It may be “killing him inside” and he is clearly “clingy”, but he needs to get over it. If I could get any one point across to you in this, I would want it to be the fact that no relationship can be healthy if one partner controls the other. You need to be able to grow separately and together, and if after you sit down and explain this to him he simply refuses to accept it, I would hope that you would seriously consider standing your ground anyways. I cannot force you to do anything in your relationship, but I truly mean it when I say that you will be missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime (i.e. culture, knowledge, experience, growth) if you choose not to speak to any and all males at whichever educational institution you’ve decided to attend for the boy you loved in high school (I’m not saying high school relationships don’t work out, I’m just saying that you should remember that you have many, many, many years to live and many, many, many people to meet). I hope this helped.
Anonymous asked: What do I do if the sex isn't good?
Bad sex means either 1.) lack of knowledge/experience or 2.) bad chemistry. Talk to each other about what you like and what you don’t like. Read Cosmo. Experiment. If all else fails, it’s the chemistry. Tough it out if you feel like you can’t live without this person, but chances are that you’ll end up resenting each other for depriving one another of that aspect of a good relationship. Best of luck!
Anonymous asked: my boyfriend of ten months just broke up with me today. i lost my bestfriend, and the only person i ever trusted. i didn't know losing someone i loved would hurt so incredibly. i need advice, please.
http://advicebytierneylee.tumblr.com/post/3409772155/the-guy-i-thought-i-was-supposed-to-end-up-with-broke
Also, it sounds like this is your first heartbreak, and therefore I need to encourage you to explore the depths of your pain and really embrace the feeling. Heartbreak is a beautiful part of being a human capable of love, and we should all appreciate it as such.
Anonymous asked: The guy I thought I was supposed to end up with broke up with me. I'm sick of hearing pity from other people. Do you have any advice on how to start getting over the guy I never planned on getting over?
Yes. Start by focusing on your goals and your happiness, and just go from there. The guy you never planned on getting over may not see how incredible you are, but that shouldn’t stop you from seeing it.
Anonymous asked: Do you ever feel like nothing in life is going the way that you want it to? What do you do?!
I focus on the things I have control over and do my best to put the rest out of my head. Remember the serenity prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
